By Michael Nickerson
Tell me if you’ve heard this one. Eight white guys walk into a conference room. The first white guy, an admiral, turns to the other white guys and says “hey, let’s talk about diversity.” A second guy (still white) pipes up and says “what’s that?” So a third puts up his hand and says “I know! I know!” So the admiral asks the third guy to explain, and he says “it’s like assorted donuts! I like the frosted ones.” Well, says the admiral, you’re on the right track, anyone else? So a fourth pulls out a set of coloured pencils that he’s been just itching to share with his fellow white guys and says “ta-da!” The admiral, so impressed with how well everyone is catching on to this novel idea, calls for a commemorative picture of the occasion and then tells an aide to post it on Twitter.
Ok, here comes the punch line…wait for it. They actually post it on Twitter! Ba-dum-bum! Bet you didn’t see that one coming.
Funnily enough, a whole lot of people didn’t see that one coming, particularly those members of the armed forces (or Canada as a whole) who are neither male nor white. Strange but true, there are actually quite a few of them about, though not particularly well represented in the higher ranks, and as Admiral Art MacDonald’s most hilarious of Twitter pics makes clear, non-existent where it counts.
Now to be fair to Canada’s new Chief of the Defence Staff (CDS), if he had it posted with a caption that said “what’s wrong with this picture?” it wouldn’t have been nearly so hilarious. He’d be bringing attention to a serious problem, perhaps starting a discussion about how to fix it. If he’d included an after picture with women and minorities at the table, for those who learn better with pictures than words, you’d think he was being downright proactive.
But where would the laughs be in that, I ask? Thankfully, the CDS has quite the sense of humour. Here’s how the CDS put it: “Conversations on diversity, inclusion, and culture change are not incompatible with our thirst for operational excellence. I count on my senior leaders to champion culture change. Diversity makes us stronger, inclusion improves our institution. We are #StrongerTogether – ArtMcD.” If that doesn’t have you rolling on the floor, I don’t know what would. A comic genius that admiral is.
Thing is, it gets better. Because as everyone knows timing is everything in comedy. If he’d pulled this joke off even ten years ago it would have fallen flat. Misogyny, sexual assault, and discrimination were hardly in the public eye. Who cared if there were barriers to women and minorities then? The whole thing would have fallen flat. White guys sitting around a table feeling privileged making decisions that impact anyone but them. Ho hum.
The admiral’s timing was impeccable, however. Just last fall the military released its new and exciting plan to end discrimination and sexual harassment, The Path to Dignity and Respect, perhaps one of the greatest setups in comedic history. Proof positive Canada’s military is willing to play the long game for a good joke.
During the CDS change of command ceremony last January, Admiral MacDonald publicly apologized for racism and hateful conduct in the military, stating “I apologize to you my teammates, our teammates who have experienced racism, discriminatory behaviour and/or hateful conduct. I am deeply sorry. I want you to know I will do all that I can to support you; to stop these unacceptable acts from happening; and to put into practice our guiding principle: Respect and dignity for all persons.” Now how sly was that?
An amateur would probably have let the proverbial cat out of the bag almost immediately after taking command and posted that hilarious tweet. But our new CDS is no amateur. He waited until not only did accusations and investigations concerning sexual misconduct of his predecessor came to light (he had to know, right?) but almost two weeks into Black History Month to finally post the punchline and drop the mic.
Now ain’t that just a hoot?
